Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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