Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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