She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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