so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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