yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
