so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
