had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
