508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Congratulations! We have a period
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
