Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A+ Viking dick
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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