i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
