Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
