Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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