It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
