You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
