Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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