Little spoons don't ask big questions
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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