can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
