it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
