That's intense
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
