I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
