oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
