If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
