Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
