you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
