But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
too bad you live with your parents still
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
