Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
