I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
