I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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