If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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