I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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