Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
