How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
