3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
