Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
