You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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