ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i drank out of a bidet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize