I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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