I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
