Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i think my cat just said my name.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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