my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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