East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
