Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
