I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
