mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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