he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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