Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
