Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
