it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
