How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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