I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
