College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
