If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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