I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
