Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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