It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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