She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
