I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
