I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize