Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
