I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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